Now before thoughts of an Orwellian society with Big Brother come to mind, just relax. That’s not the 1984 I’m talking about. Im also not taking about Ronald Reagan’s reelection or really anything political for that matter. I’m just talking about that feeling of something lacking today. Things not being like what they used to be. Wanting to go back and catch that feeling of connection or belonging or whatever it may be for you. You never know what will bring these feelings come flooding back either . For me it was a wedding anniversary. But not my own. Not a family members either. A friends? Well sort of. A family friend? Friends of the family? Yeah, but that really doesn’t fit either. . Truth of the matter is I don’t know of a single term that could really explain it. So I will just tell some stories that might do it better.

So an invite to a 50th wedding anniversary party got this all started. Parents of some childhood friends were having a party and my wife Brenna and I were able to go. This made it a bonus as I would be able to introduce Brenna to people I grew up with as well as see people I hadn’t seen in a long time.

So anniversary parties have a strict structure or protocol where I grew up. 1. The anniversary couple is at the entrance graciously greeting all their guests. It’s a good system allowing a smooth flow in and out of the venue. Guests move through at a good pace, so as not to leave people outside waiting too long.

2. Children of anniversary couple are in charge of food, drink, toasting, speeches and all other activities, chores and cleanup.

3. Guests are allowed to do pretty much anything they want. Eat, drink, visit with people and throughly enjoy yourself. All the pressure is on the couples’ kids to make things run smooth. We don’t even have to help clean up. I didn’t make the rules. I’m just making them official.

Guests are allowed to spend time telling stories, hearing stories and just catching up with old friends. Reconnect with people you haven’t seen in a while and you get that feeling of belonging somewhere. It’s pretty great.

In all actuality, it might be better than being the people the party is for. It’s less pressure for sure. Going back to your home town is as close to being a celebrity as most of us will ever be. Now I’m not saying I’m a celebrity in any way, nor was I treated any different than anyone else. But a lot of people just seemed happy to see me. So there I was, just like the weird kid at a birthday party, I was just happy to be there.

The following is a partial list of stories or memories that came flooding back.

Allegedly, I drank $12.00 worth of Coke at a restaurant in Little Rock with Mackie. His iced tea cost $0.89. I’ve heard about this for years. He also took me to eat lobster for the first time. It cost much more than $12.00. He never complained once about that. Probably because he enjoyed letting me experience new things. He and I had a pretty special bond. We still do.

I attempted to drown a kid while giving him swim lessons. For the record, he is alive and can swim.

The best fried potatoes and onions can only be made over a campfire in Colorado. This is a fact.

The swing set at my childhood home would give you stitches, if you weren’t careful.

My friend Brian’s mom Betty delivered lunch to me after knee surgery. She brought it all the way to town. Roast beef and potatoes and gravy and sliced tomatoes. She is also my mom’s close friend. Her husband and my dad? You guessed it. Good friends. And also they are both K state grads which is unfortunate.

I should write this blog regularly. My first grade teacher told me too. I also put a mouse in her chair.

Seth Stewart and I once locked ourselves in a shed my mistake for at least 3 hours.

Growing up, I really looked up to a kid a few years older then I was and I followed him around non stop every year at the fair. I still look up to him and was able to get his advice on a couple things. Funny how things change and yet stay the same.

Now finally the anniversary couple and their family. Now we are not related so not family. Friends? How do we know each other? Well their younger son Ryan and I spent countless hours swimming at my house or on the 4 wheeler at his house. Birthdays, sleepovers you name it. They took me to the lake and canoe trips with their extended family, who I knew as well. One cousin got stitches from our swing set. His dad Gary makes the best scrambled eggs. he also had to save Ryan and me from a mad sow pig that had us cornered in a back field. One of Wilbur’s pigs that were always everywhere. His mom Carol who I called Mom Stephens didn’t even fuss at me when I broke a light fixture globe in her kitchen. She also made the best peach cobbler dessert. She made me one when I blew my knee in high school. Their oldest son Jamie made me see a big flash of purple when he blocked me in football practice. He was also the first guy to help me up. He mentioned seeing my sister in Wichita a while back and said “true friends last.” He was right. The twins were younger than I was. It was a big deal when they were born since they were twins. I’m not sure which one it was, but one of them hit me in the eye with a rock. I probably deserved it so I’m not mad or anything. I could go on but I’m sure you can see what I mean. We may not be family, but it’s more than friends. I still haven’t found the right term.

You also may have noticed that a lot of memories involved food. Or maybe it was just the sharing of meals. We all did a lot of that. Back yard cookouts. Dinner parties, supper bowl parties, birthdays or church pot lucks. We went to other peoples houses and ate their food. Sometime we brought something to eat as well. The kids played with whatever kids were there. New recipes or old favorites. I’m sure things flopped once in a while. But it was okay. We didn’t have to take a picture of the meal to show it off either. So while it won’t show up in your Facebook memories, the memories are still there.

So I live only 15 miles from where I spent most of my childhood. I’ve had 22 addresses in the 25 years since college. But the closest bonds I have seem to revolve around sharing a meal. My closest friends from adulthood list out as follows.

Scotty from Wichita puts beets on his burgers. Derek and I met while sharing a bottle of hot sauce. My friend Rob and I workout almost everyday over our lunch hour . And this group of old guys, I call my advisors meet for coffee several days a week.

So I know groceries are expensive these days. I also know we all get busy with life, but we need to bring back 1984 and the dinner parties that were a part of our lives. It won’t fix all the problem of our world, but it might make them a little easier. And we can at least tackle life on a full stomach. We’ve all heard the question of is it about the journey or the destination? Maybe it’s neither. Maybe it’s more about the people you meet along the way and maybe share a meal with.