So things have been busy around here with everything that was put off by everyone in the world until “after the 1st.” So as I was showering, I was thinking of writing topics. It was difficult as the shower was cluttered with 27 different items of soap, shampoo, conditioner and other bath and or scrubbing products.

Four of these items are mine. And that is only if you count my toothbrush and toothpaste. Which for the record “need to be up on the ledge because who brushes their teeth in the shower?” Answer? I do. And it’s a good thing because there isn’t much room at the sink either. Other items include one bar of Darth Vader soap and the normal all in one guy-body/face/hair/miracle stuff.

So I figured I needed to add some items. Because I obviously wasn’t taking advantage of todays cleaning products. I thought about getting some Axe body wash/shampoo but then decided I didn’t want to smell like the side of the gymnasium where all the boys sat at a junior high dance. I’m not a lumberjack so the Earthy Pine fragrance was out as well. I went with a throwback to 1987 and how my mom explained the pronunciation of our last name. Prell Shampoo. It didn’t even get a comment or a laugh. I was disappointed to say the least. It’s also a terrible product. Like dumping green tinted Dawn dish soap on your head. My first poor choice.

So it was then I decided to try some of the other products in the shower. First up was some watermelon body wash. After lathering up I realized it had “Exfoliating Seeds” in this stuff. Now not watermelon sized seeds, but more like strawberry sized seeds that stuck to my feet. Felt like I had sand in my socks all day. Another poor choice. I am also done sampling bath products.

Upon getting out of the shower, I took notice of the multiple items around the sink. The wife-husband ratio was 6-1. Included in this were hair brush, curling iron, hair dryer and multiple lotion bottles of the same lotion. Bath and Body Works Vanilla Bean lotion to be exact. How do I know you ask? Let me tell you. That specific lotion is discontinued, and not sold in stores or even produced anymore. Not available online either. And it’s not the new Vanilla Bean Noel trash that was the replacement. I learned this the last few months as I searched the dark web, hidden chat rooms and discussion boards on where I could find this treasured lotion. I got several bottles for Brenna for Christmas. I can’t tell you where though. Never give up your source. No one likes a rat. Snitching is always a poor choice.

It was at this point I felt I should let my wife in on the absurd amount of items in the bathroom. Obviously, I felt sarcasm and wisecracks would be the best route to take. I first offered her a 5 gallon bucket to take in and out of the shower like I have for washing cars. She didn’t find that funny at all. So I changed to the old stand by home schooled jokes. “So you like a variety of soaps that are store bought because you made your own soap after churning butter?”

I didn’t even get a response so I decided to step it up a notch. “Or you were used to washin’ up in da creek on Saturday nights so as not to muss up your church clothes.” So you know that line you shouldn’t cross when teasing your wife? Apparently that line can move. What is okay some days, is not okay the next. Also I’m pretty sure what she said to me, was not taught in home school class or allowed. Those were public school words. I’m pretty sure I heard some of those things while in the Navy as well. Now that is something you don’t see very often. Maybe I should ask where that line is from now on. These poor choices of mine seem to go on and on.

Now I’ve done it. The Rage Organizing has begun. So everyone is aware, I have an entire room over the garage for all my stuff that I store, collect and tinker with. My beautiful wife doesn’t have such a luxury. So she deserves to have the big closet, the majority of all bathroom storage, all the basement storage and anything else she wants and/or needs. As punishment for my insensitive comments and remarks, I will spend the rest of the day in my room over the garage thinking about what I have done. Best choice I have made in a while.

One final thought. Brenna knew what she was getting into before she married me. I have been blessed with a maturity level that is just fun. On one occasion while pestering her she told me “you just go somewhere else and play.” Like I was a little kid. I could have been offended but instead, I just went and played. I’m also not allowed to have red drinks because it affects my behavior.

* all posts are proof read, grammar and spell checked by a home school kid