So Brenna wanted to go hiking, but I really had no desire to walk around on some make shift trails with a bunch of yuppie hikers. So …. we had a nice 4.5 mile hike with the city folks. I also conducted a social experiment during the hike so I could gauge the friendliness of hikers. I spoke to everyone we met on the trail. Here are my findings.

If I spoke to a hiker or a group of hikers, there is over a 90% likelihood of them speaking back or they would speak first. Hello, hi, how’s it going, excuse me, but something would be said. In a surprise twist though, of those that ignored my pleasantries, 75% of those people were using hiking sticks. Now this wasn’t a difficult hike where walking sticks were needed. I saw one kid about 4 years old wearing one Spider-Man shoe and he was doing just fine. To sum up, yuppie hikers are pretty good people. Or maybe it’s 90% of people from Oklahoma are friendly . Only a few take themselvBut overall a lower percentage than the general public. This project needs more trial locations.

So back to breakfast. It was the Hilton Garden Inn this time for us Silver Club members. No buffet but that’s okay as the menu was good. I learned something new about my wife though. She cannot open a small individual carton of milk. It was comical to watch. She had both sides half open, spilled some on the table, it was just a disaster. “Well I know one thing you didn’t learn in home school!! “ I had to point out how her home school education had failed her. “Zip it Cole”. “No there’s no zipper on the milk carton. Maybe that’s your problem?” as I choked back laughter. She doesn’t get sarcasm at times. Because of the lack of socialization. Her glare told me she got it this time.

As we ate the hostess stopped at our table and commented that “she knew we were a couple because she saw my wife just glowing watching me as I was walked inside earlier.” “Wow, you must really appreciate me loading the car to be GLOWING.” Brenna smiled and said “Well actually I was just amused by your struggle to get the security key to work to get back inside the hotel.” I probably deserved this a little bit.

But she could have just let me have my moment. Maybe she was annoyed by my home school jokes. You know home school kids have no sense of humor. Maybe she is socially awkward due to her home schooling. Maybe she is just a bully who likes to hurt feelings.

I got over my hurt feelings and was appreciative that there were no more hikes planned the rest of the day. I found a hole in the wall Mexican spot for lunch and was excited. I love hole in the wall dive spots. Brenna was less eager but was a good sport. She wasn’t disappointed. The house special was a Wet Burrito. I realize that sounds like something you did with a beach towel at summer camp but it was epic. El Rio Verde in Tulsa is a must stop.

We made a final stop at a local book store for the home schooled girl before heading home. The second thing I learned about my wife this weekend was that she had never read the book or seen the movie “The Outsiders.” I have to be honest. I’m not sure what they actually did learn in this home school thing at this point. Yeah, she is a great speller, but you know who is better? My phone’s spellcheck feature that’s who! I say “Stay gold Ponyboy” and she looks at me like I’m nuts.

So we spent the drive home reading the Outsiders out loud. Seriously, who does that? Home schoolers that’s who. And me apparently. I used to go to Tulsa to get a tattoo or see a concert. Now I go to Tulsa so I can walk around outside for miles and ride around in a Subaru while I read books out loud. I’m not sure how this happened. I’m not sure when this happened. But I’m telling you, watch out for home schoolers. They are a crafty bunch. They will get you before you realize it. But at least I didn’t cry reading “The Outsiders”