Is it just me or does everyone you meet seem to have the stress level of someone being chased by a swarm of bees. Or maybe it’s a pack of wild dogs. Actually wild dingoes sound even better. Much better in fact, then real stressors such as Covid, politics, inflation, Ukraine, Mahomes ankle and the end of Grunge music. Living in a world that is waiting on the next big crisis is just too much for some people to handle and it shows. But some of us have been training for this our entire lives. We are the forgotten ones. We are the generational middle child. We are the original slackers. We are Generation X.

Now the Boomers want to bring back the good old days. They have been in charge and they like it that way. I was thinking of them first as the bully that stole our lunch money. But they actually gave us our lunch money. We just had to “go outside” “stay off my lawn” in order to get it. Today’s version of this comes in the form of strict and over zealous zoning laws that help keep housing costs high and thus preserving wealth for one side and making it hard for for the next generation to become homeowners. The ultimate “get off my lawn kid!”

Now the millennials want a system of justice and prosperity for all. They have college degrees that cost as much as a house that they can’t buy. They also still are paying for these degrees. They are the 13 year old kids that showed up in my college classes setting the curve. They can explain high level macro and micro economics but they can’t get the Coke machine to take their dollar. They are taking calculus, Econ, English Lit, Latin and chemistry but can’t lift their backpack. They also need a ride home because they sold their bike on EBay to pay for their books. They have a bus pass but are scared of the bus driver and can’t figure out the whole bus route thing and refuse to wait longer then 30 seconds.

Then there is Gen Z. I think they just want avocado toast and your WiFi password . They are also on your phone plan. They want you to upgrade their phone because they dropped it. And no they can’t pay for it. Why should they have to pay for it? They deserve to have nice things! Think of them as that little sibling of your friends house that is 12 or 15 years younger then all the others. Parents let him drink Dr Pepper out of a bottle, siblings would baby him one minute and lock him in a closet the next. Some were given beer by siblings and their friends when they were 8 years old because it was funny. Today they hoard 24 drinking glasses in their rooms, then complain about no clean cups. They also steal phone chargers without remorse.

And that leaves my people, Gen X. We played outside, could program the VCR, make our own lunch and mowed the lawn. We are also the kids that raided our parents liquor cabinet. The ones who brought lawn darts to the birthday party. Brought pocket knives to school and threw rocks at dogs, windows, ponds, our friends and siblings. After Saturday morning cartoons, we learned how to body slam our friends off the top rope without breaking a bone or knocking the clock off the wall. Watch out or you’ll break your neck, we were told. But we knew that only happened with pile drivers or diving in the shallow end. We were reckless but not stupid. We were smooth. How smooth? Smooth as silk.

We have been preparing for disasters since childhood. The Russians were going to invade or drop the bomb on us. If acid rain or the hole in the ozone didn’t get us first, killer bees might. So we were tough. How tough you ask? Would you mess with this guy?

We were taught to stop, drop and roll because getting set on fire was a possibility. So was quick sand. We read about missing children on milk cartons and then rode our bikes to school. On Halloween cults were rumored to be snatching kids, so don’t act stupid out there and get kidnapped. Our board games caused panic and sometimes tetanus. But we learned to handle pressure. Speaking of pressure, how did we learn math? Flash cards. You had to be correct and fast.

We were the first latch key kids so no one really knew what to do, so parents and kids just figured it out and it was glorious. We figured things out with our friends, while bouncing from house to house, each one with different rules and freedoms. Who had cable? Who had a car? Who was allowed to do what and where. So we became able to adapt to all situations and groups of people to blend in and stay out of sight, out of mind and out of trouble. And if trouble came from us, we knew we had to be fast, very fast. There were no trophy’s for second. Only stupid colored ribbons.

And today we have become a bit cynical. We didn’t talk about feelings so why should anyone else? Staying out of sight and out of mind, means we don’t get involved. We don’t help our communities like our boomer parents did. We don’t fight for causes like Millennials do . And Gen Z, that’s on us. We had them or raised them. We were way too involved. Not helicopter parents, but snowplow parents. We made it too easy on them. We have to own that one. But we fought for our friends. We fought for our country. And we had to fight, for our right, to party! Work hard, play hard was our motto. It killed a lot of our friends too.

So Gen X knows how great we could be, myself included. So here is my advice to each one.

To our Boomer parents, we got this. We may have been disasters from time to time. But that was part of what made us better. We have real feelings even though we don’t act like it sometimes.

To the millennials, sorry about all the bullying. But your sharing of feelings sounds like whining and it makes us uncomfortable. Also stop with the “Okay Boomer.” Just slouch, roll your eyes and say “whatever.” Drives them crazy!!

To our Gen Z kids. We are going to let you struggle and fail sometimes. It’s not the end of the world, so relax. Also go get all the damn glasses out of your room. And bring back my phone charger.

To Gen X, it’s time to take care of our parents. It’s time to be mentors and to help our younger siblings, coworkers and friends. Just because we didn’t have something, doesn’t mean no one should. And let our kids figure things out. They don’t know how to do anything because we did it for them. So stop that. They will step up when they see us step up as well. So in short, be excellent to each other.

Finally, this started out as a random thought about high stress and a conspiracy theory about wild dingoes being the cause. And now this touchy feely stuff. I’m not sure how that happened. But my home schooled, Millennial-therapist wife definitely had some influence. And she doesn’t even know it yet. Apparently that whole home school lack of social skills stereotypes gives her superpowers when it comes to handling me. And I don’t even mind.

Also flannel is acceptable in any social situation, Grunge music is the greatest music genre in history and I will wear my baseball cap backwards until the day I die.

And Alice N Chains is a better band then Nirvana and Pearl Jam. I said what I said.